Bah humbug…that describes my holiday spirit. I don’t know why but I just can’t seem to get in the holiday spirit this year. I have started my Christmas shopping, but I’m struggling because nobody seems to know what they want this year. I really dislike buying gifts that people will not use or do not want. I keep thinking there is always gift certificates, but they seem so impersonal. I want to find that special gift for everyone that is going to put a smile on their face when they open the gift.

I have put up some outside lights and did get excited about them. I purchased one of those laser lights that displays red and green lights all over the front of the house. I added a projector light that has a rotating snowflake design. It looks great and brings me happiness every time I see it, but that is only on the rare occasions when I leave the house in the evening.

Last night I decided to put up my Christmas tree. I usually put it up the day after Thanksgiving but just haven’t been in the mood this year. I pulled out the old artificial tree that has the lights already on it. Of course half of the lights will not light up. It looked as sad as I felt inside. I added a string of blue lights that rotate through twinkling patterns, they seemed to help fill in the emptiness.

I stood back and looked at the tree and thought how sad it looked but proceeded to add all of the old ornaments I had in storage. Many of the ornaments bring back a memory. As I strategically and carefully placed each ornament, I was taken back in time and reminded of the pleasant memories attached to the ornaments. Each memory brought happiness to my heart. The memories involved my children and family and did help to bring back some holiday spirit.

I know that this time of year is difficult for many, especially for people struggling with depression. I have decided to keep seeking the holiday spirit, and to not expect this holiday to be like holidays of the past. Each holiday season is unique and I’ll accept it as it comes.

Happy Holidays!